Ptichka is currently in the kitchen making mayonnaise. She wants to have a toasted tomato sandwich, which, of course, means that she must make mayonnaise. This is pretty symbolic of the differences between us. I would simply omit the mayonnaise (because it's not something we ever keep in the fridge.) Ptichka, however, makes some. At the moment, I'm thinking that she should be the one writing a dissertation and not me.