I've got nothing important to say, so I'm just going to tell you who I'd like to see leave American Idol tonight. Yes, I watch AI. It all started with Canadian Idol, which has a more annoying host, a less insipid female judge, and quirkier contestants (small populations can be good for something, i.e. quirkier idol contestants), and then I moved on to the American counterpart.

The list:

1. Paula Abdul. I hate her encouraging schtick. Listen. If the song was out of tune, say, "Dude, you were out of tune" and not "You went out there and gave it your all and I really respect that. You're true to yourself, which is awesome." Also, has anyone else noticed that she likes to use sophisticated language incorrectly. She mispronounced "niche" and she likes to use the wrong preposition with twenty-five-cent words.

2. Anthony Federov. I picked him out as an Eastern Slav before I knew his name. He reminds me of the Russian and Ukrainian heritage speakers I've taught, in that I like most of them but they tend to have the same sort of bad taste. I like to call it the Slavic Cheese Gene. And when he sings? Everything is boring and Latin-inspired. He's kind of a stereo-type. He seems like a good kid. I'd probably like him in real life but I don't want to ever have to sit through another one of his performances again.

3. Scott Savol. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. He's always out of tune. He sang a great disco song last night and I didn't want to boogie. He did kill a Hall and Oates song last week too. And he seems like a jerk to me. One of those God-lovin' jerks, which are the worst kind. Just, ugh.

4. Carrie Under????. I can't remember her last name. While she has a great voice and sings well, she's about as interesting as Wonderbread. Her arrangements are boring. Her song choice is boring. She's sweet but boring. I also don't want to every have to sit through one of her performances again. Ever.


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