Eek!

I received an e-mail today from my graduate coordinator. One of my colleagues had his defense yesterday. Someone else has one in April and another someone else has one in May. That will be me next year. I had hoped to finish before 15 January but I don't think that that is going to happen. I'll probably finish around March. Maybe February. But now? Now, my life is nothing but a long stream of fellowship applications (Don't worry, I did point to the holes in the scholarship as justification for my thesis' existence even though it felt dishonest.) and anxiety attacks. The Czech half of the diss is rock solid. It's awesome. I love it. The Czechs during the 1930s were awesome. Everyone should love them. The Russian half, however, has me perplexed, even though A Point has been sussed out. I just can't see the end and platitudes are not comforting at the moment (always darkest before the dawn blah blah blah fecking blah blah). It probably doesn't help that the film I need to view has gone missing in the postal system. Canada Post loses so little of my mail (and trust me, I have tonnes of stuff coming and going from my house that that is a feat) but of course, it loses the big important pieces. Maybe if I leave a bowl of milk for it on the front stoop, the envelope will find it's way home...please.