I Hate You BOTH!

Here's a summary of my committee: Dr. Cz. is my advisor. As far as she's concerned Czech studies will save the day. Dr. S. is my second reader and Russian specialist. As far as he's concerned, Czech won't get me a job (he giggles every frickin' time he tells me this, which is every frickin' time I see him), Russian will. While I concur with his assessment of the job market, I could use a little less smugness in my life. What I could really use is some genuine concern about my dissertation, about my entire dissertation. Hell, I would be happy with some feigned concern. When I'm discussing the Czech half, Dr. Cz. is all ears and Dr. S.'s eyes glaze over. When I discuss the Russian half, Dr. Cz. tells me to go talk to Dr. S. While I was aware of the biases of both Dr. Cz. and Dr. S., I had never expected such blantant displays of them as I've witnessed this week. No one will pay for my to go to Russia to study the reception of Lermontov in the 1930s and 1940s, so when I told Dr. Cz. that I would be asking Dr. S. for advice, she came up with a new proposal, linking Czech and Russian theatre in the 1930s and 1940s. Nice try, but no one is going to pay for me to study that either. And now, Dr. S., after writing numerous letters of recommendations for grant proposals to send me to the Czech Republic without the use of any background material, i.e. no transcripts, no old papers, no proposal in early stages, has asked me for my grant proposal (still unformed) so that he can better incorporate material about it into his letter of recommendation. I can feel my dissertation being pulled in two distinct directions so that I'll end up with a Russian half and Czech half that shall never meet. The poor thing will end up like the child before King Solomon, only this time, he'll have to hope that a third party can save it, because neither of the parents want to. /rant. -Zh.