Gladiator

I started this post on 26 May before I lost interest.

I crawled out from my cave last night and watched Gladiator. Consider me unimpressed. Russell Crowe acquitted himself with far more panache than he did in Master and Commander, although I still prefer him in Romper Stomper and Proof. I guess that that's the pretentious indie brat in me, who thrives on saying, "He was really good until he got famous." To be fair, though, both movies were made before Crowe was a movie star and typecast as the gruff, noble, just, and honorable average Joe who just happens to be the battle equivalent of Macgyver. Then again, he's currently acting in another Ron Howard flick, so maybe he likes being the gruff, noble, just, and honorable average Joe. Or perhaps he likes being in well-done, yet ultimately eye-bleedingly boring films because although Ron Howard's films are dumb, they are well-crafted. I guess that way you focus more on the performances than the direction...

Back to Gladiator. It was predictable, the performances were good, the men wore skirts, which is awesome, and the black guy did not bite it. The CGI sucked and I have not been spoiled by the whole Lord of the Rings dog-and-pony show because a great deal of the CGI there sucked as well. The shots of the Coliseum were painfully fake. And then there were the weather and afterlife shots, which looked like tarted-up outtakes from Tarkovskii's last film: Nostalghia. Blech, blech, blech. It's ultimately mindless and entertaining, so if you're in the mood for mindless and entertaining, watch it. You could do much, much worse. I mean, did I already mention that all of the men wear skirts? All men should wear skirts, they flatter. -Zh.